selfish people

i am SICK SICK SICK of helping people and getting nothing back.

I dont ask people for ANYTHING, cos I was always taught to only be dependent on myself. From a young age it was inscribed into my head that I would feel a deeper satisfaction doing stuff for MYSELF rather than being assisted. I dont like to rely on people. Yeah, some people get offended when I dont let them pay for me n that but thats just the sort of person I am. Anyone who knows me properly would know this.

BUT

when I NEED something done, that Im unable to do myself, what other choice do I have? I cant do it myself and someone close to me can, so why should I not seek help? I expected to be helped anyway, since Ive helped this individual out of certain predicaments. I needed something, they saw how much I needed it, yet they chose to be SELFISH. There was no reason for them not to do me this small favour...they werent busy or anything...they just didnt want to do it. The one time in YEARS when I ask for something off someone, much less someone Ive helped on numerous occasions, and they cant even deliver. SELFISH. I swear, I dont give to receive. I like to help people, no shit. But Im taking this as a lesson....When Im in NEED of something...Im not gonna possess certain traits that werent in me in the first place...like being reliant. Im just gonna carry on being independent and doing shit for myself without nobodys helping hand; however hard that may be. Because people dont know how to empathize and put themselves in MY position...ive always found that helps when Im being selfish...but I guess not everyone is able to do that. I swear...some people need to come down a few pegs cos theyre too up their own arses.

Ah well; shit happens.

Im finished now :)